I Used to Love Him: My Love Letter to Creativity

So, when did you fall in love with Creativity?

Growing up, I was always into one craft project or another, creating something new, or designing jewelry and clothes. With 5 girls, my mom always kept our hands busy in playdoh, drawing with all of the things, or sewing anything and everything. If there was some kind of craft or activity, we were probably doing it. And I loved every minute of it.

The Younger Years 

Sewing and making jewelry will always hold a special place for me because they both give you a place to explore the world and be whoever you want. Clothes and jewelry are how I show myself to the world. They are how I tell my story. They allow me to feel more confident. They give me peace.

When I first started teaching myself to make jewelry, I had no idea how big a role it would play in my life as I navigated through my childhood, middle school, high school, and all the way into adulthood. When I got my first set of jewelry pliers from my dad, my life changed forever. And not in a dramatic way like in the movies but in such a way that the quiet girl in the back of the class was given a way to express herself without saying a word. I was given an opportunity to create something that people liked and I was able to wear my art freely without having to say a thing. I have found that I have always been better at expressing myself through the written word and through my art because of this. 

Creativity and design are my therapy. Staying up late to finish a piece or waking up early morning with an idea to create something as I was just trying to think through something else in my life. If I was having a bad day, I would sit at my bench and just play with some wire and beads and nothing would matter anymore. 

That little girl still lives inside me today: the girl with the sewing bobbin earrings and horrible (horrible) cropped gaucho pants lol 

Creativity and design have always lived within me and made me feel free.

The Hustle Years 

Fast forward some years and I’m still the creative dreamy-eyed girl from the back of the class rocking her sewing bobbin earrings, however, I thankfully swapped out my cropped gaucho pants for leggings and dresses. There was always time for me to be creative but during these years, I worked…a lot. Hustled, if you will. 

I graduated from the Virginia State University…Changed careers…Worked some more…

Then I got burned out, really, really burnt out…

During these years I navigated adult life as best I could, dabbling with design and creativity from time to time but ultimately sitting it on a shelf only to be pulled down when convenient or easy.  

Then everything around me changed and 2020 hit like a ton of bricks. 

2020

The end of the year is always a time of new beginnings, closure, excitement, family, and vision. Outside of December being my birth month, (Sagittarius energy over here lol) December has always been a time I used to reflect, show gratitude, and get the New Year started “right”. I typically hit the ground running and create a vision board and in the past few years, I have also started to choose a word for the year: Freedom.

Growing up, my parents were all about the New Year big house clean with all of the old school R&B blaring on the speakers included. Because of this, I have always believed you start the year how you end the last one. Call me superstitious but there is nothing better than a new beginning.

I start the year with a fresh tank of gas and make sure I have some cash in my wallet or money in my account (because who wants to start the New Year off “broke”). I also make sure all of my laundry is done and put away, do a deep clean of my space, and make sure I clean out my car, inside and out. 

Every year I spend a few weeks preparing and making sure I knock everything off my to-do list. But let’s just say, that didn’t happen at the end of 2020, and starting 2021 was SO different this year. 

Please don’t get me wrong. I didn’t end the year badly, by any means. This past New Year’s Eve was one of the most fun and different I’ve ever had. Full of love, laughter, Krispy Kreme donuts, soggy Five Guys Burgers and Fries, disgusting Rosé lol, and of course, the family group chat buzzing away as we all wished each other a Happy New Year. 

This was my first New Years’ out on my own in the city, with my boyfriend (soon-to-be best friend), and looking back now, it was all I hoped it would be growing up, truly perfect. 

This was the first year I got nothing done on my to-do list, but I got so much more in return. 2020 gave me CLARITY.

Between the pandemic, being a black woman in America, and ALL of the stupidity out in this world, it took me a lot longer to get my thoughts and my life “together”. And frankly, if I am being honest when looking back I was just TIRED. Mostly tired of being in the same routine, or lack thereof really. But really tired of just going through the motions. Something had to change.

2020 taught me what I didn’t want anymore and that life is way too short to settle for a mundane existence. 2020 gave me a chance to slow down and rest for the first time that I can remember. 2020 helped me to re-clarify what I valued in life. It helped me to realize that I had become complacent in so many things and somehow lost myself in the hustle and bustle of my life. 

I was comfortable. 

Creativity and design had been pushed to the side and placed on the backburner.

2020 helped me see that it was time for me to get uncomfortable and go after the life I have always wanted.

2020 taught me that I wanted Freedom. 

The freedom to choose. 

The freedom to have control of my time. 

The freedom to love. 

The freedom to explore. 

The freedom to feel. 

The complete freedom to be me on my terms. 

The freedom to dream. 

And ultimately, the freedom to prioritize CREATIVITY again.

2021

I come to you today as a creative with a passion for all things design. Since I was a kid, I’ve always known I’ve always wanted to do something creative. Whether it was starting a magazine, becoming an image stylist, designing and working on store displays, designing and making jewelry, having my own clothing line, or being a graphic designer. Creativity and design have always been in my spirit and a large part of who I am. 

While I realized with time that some of these things weren’t exactly what I wanted to do and that some of these dreams still apply, There has always been a constant: I love to design and create. It’s ingrained in everything that I do: The way that I dress…the food I cook…the way I style and organize my space…the music I listen to…the jewelry I design and wear. 

I’m starting this blog because this is the year that I have decided to create the life that I want to live. To share my spirit with the world. Hopefully, you will join me on my journey as I design and create my way through this life I’m living…curating a place where life and design intersect. 

So to play off the words of one of the greatest movies of all time, Brown Sugar as the Common song “I Used to Love Her” plays softly in the background:

To creativity: I used to love you, I still do, and always will.

What are you creating today?